Funy honny Testo

FUNNY HONEY



ANNOUNCER

For her first number, Miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song

of love and devotion dedicated to her dear husband Amos.


ROXIE

Sometimes I'm right

Sometimes I'm wrong

But he doesn't care

He'll string along

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine!



Sometimes I'm down
Sometimes I'm up

But he follows 'round

Like some droopy-eyed pup

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine!

He ain't no sheik

That's no great physique

Lord knows he ain't got the smarts



Oh, but look at that soul

I tell you, that whole

Is a whole lot greater

Than the some of his parts

And if you knew him like me

I know you'd agree

What if the world

Slander my name?

Why, he'd be right there

Taking the blame

He loves me so

And it all suits me fine

That funny, sunny, honey

Hubby of mine!



AMOS

A man's got the right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?





FOGARTY

Of course, he has!





AMOS

Well, I come in from the garage, Officer, and I see him coming

through the window. With my wife Roxanne there, sleepin'...

Like an angel...



ROXIE

He loves me so ...an angel!

That funny honey of mine!



AMOS

I mean supposin', just supposin', he had violated her or somethin'...you

know what I mean...violated?



FOGARTY

I know what you mean...





AMOS

...or somethin'. Think how terrible that would have been. It's a good

thing I came home from work on time, I'm tellin' ya that! I say I'm

tellin' ya that!



ROXIE

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine!



FOGARTY

Name of deceased...Fred Casely.





AMOS

Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him!

He sold us our furniture!



ROXIE

Lord knows he ain't got the smarts



AMOS

She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar.





FOGARTY

You mean he was dead when you got home?





AMOS

She had him covered with a sheet and she's givin' me that cock

and bull story about this burglar, and how I ought to say I did

it 'cause I was sure to get off. Burglar, huh!



ROXIE

Now, he shot off his trap And I believed her!

That cheap little tramp. So, she

I can't stand that sap was two-timing me, huh?

Well, then, she can just

swing for all I care.

Look at him go Boy, I'm down at the garage,

Rattin' on me working my butt off fourteen

With just one more brain hours a day and she's up there

What half-wit he'd be munchin' on God-damn bon-bons

and jazzing. This time she

If they string me up pushed me too far.

I'll know who That little chiseler.

Brought the twine Boy, what a sap I was!

That scummy, crummy

Dummy hubby of mine