Lost Testo

As far back as I can remember,
the failure was always there.
It was the only real companion
that I have ever had.
Not meant to live like this.
Consciousness is nothing more than a vicious cycle,
and I am being bled dry by my conviction.
I've spent my life trying to find my confidence,
and found absolutely nothing.
Life is a lost cause. Too weak to carry on.
I wish I'd never met who I once was.
Not meant to live like this.
Pursuing the love in all that I have lost,
but I have left myself neglected,
deserted from the start.
Longing for a chance to wander;
A chance to chase my aspiration.
When you're devoid of feeling,
you just do as you're told.
Hatred is exhausting,
but it's all I'll ever know.