Front step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and turn.
Oh my god, Penny, there's Link, Link! I can't believe I'm really here auditioning!
I can't believe I'm really here watching you audition!
Fron't step, cha-cha-cha, back step cha-cha-cha, side step, front step, back, and, oh, Amber, look at this motly crew!
Oh, mother not more ancient history!
Oh, my God how times have changed, this girls must be blind, or completly deranged!
But, times seem to halt since I won Miss Baltimore Crabs.
Amber, that move is far too dirty!
Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930!
You can laugh, but lifes a test!
Don't do this, don't do that!
Remember, Mother knows best!
And the crowns in the valt
when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs
With you perfect ammunition.
Let me show you how you Mommy dear
took out tha competition.
Girls, go down, boys lets ramba!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Those poor runner ups
mite still hold some grudges
They padded their cups
But I screwed tha judges!
AH! boys, put me down!
Oh, good morning ladies, lets see what you got!
Twist, twist, twist, twist, mashed potato, mamba!
On my show you'll never find a thrusting hip or bumping bind!
Whats that, a dance for fucking ticks?
Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!
I hit the stage
While belting Aida
and preparing SOUFLEES!
With that triple somersault
As I clinched Miss Baltimore Crabs!
Are you scared, we're on live?
No, I'm sure I can cope.
Well, this show isn't broadcast in
I never drank 1 chocolate malt
no deserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs!
This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes!
Kid, she'll never get a date
with that who-ville nose!
I would say
if I wasnt miss baltimore crabs
Do you dance like you dress?
Amber, theres no need 2 be creul
wuld u swm in an intergrated pool?
i sur wuld! im all 4 intergration! its tha new frontier!
Not in baltimore, it isnt!
and may i be frank
1st impressions can be tough
and when i saw u i new
if ur size wasnt enough
your last answer just blew it!
and so mi dear
so short and stout
ull never be in
so were kickin u out!
with ur form and ur fate
o, it isn't ur falt!
just down with a case of
I think they secretly liked u!
May I please audition?
Of course not
but u can bow and exalt
for i am miss baltimore crabs!
crabs, crabs, crabs