My name is Mindhorn
I swim backwards, forwards, sideways
I'm in love with a woman, she's got no eyes.
I found her drawing cows near Brugge.
I don't know her name, I call her Mrs China.
She were a coiffure but it ended in bloodshed
Now she lives in a glass case in the town hall in Ghent
And every three years on a tuesday I dust her.
My old lady friend said that I was round the bend when she saw me hiding tins of glue.
I said no I'm not I've simply got a soft spot for sticking people's faces to their shoes.
I'm confused she said and went upstairs to bed