Now Suri, we must study your Dianetics Book
Suri: But I don't want to!
Young lady, that is not allowed
We must make tom and katie proud
Millions of years ago,
The alien Xenu
Collected all his people
And then he threw
Them all around a volcano
Bringing bombs in his machines
And blew them all to smithereens!
Your dad said you must wear a blanket or an opaque veil
Over your faces So you will stay pale
You must remember it's not funny, stay away from where it's sunny
Or else he'll dangle you over an eighty foot balcony
Lindsay, I think I have the best thing for you
A Louie Vaton chastity belt with an alcohol detector too.
Now I know I have a matching mussle somewhere or another
It's perfect for your big mouth mother.
Break it down now!
You know, Hollywood is such a mess
All the drama going down with celeb train wrecks
They even stopped wearing bloomers under their dress
It makes me feel my food come up like I got acid reflux.
That thought for a minute
The ones that clean their act up and then claim they did it
I'm the one who saved their asses all from being committed
But of course they won't admit it
Cause they hope they'll get aquited.
the nanny to the stars
Lynn Spears was my client for some time
I took care of her girls back then in Britney's prime.
But then my contract ran out, she thought she'd do it herself
And now the teen is knocked up and britney signed up for self help.
I got my work on my mind and I aint too hard to find
You got the dough, I got the time. And this aint no nursery rhyme.
They call me Tinsel Town Nanny
Double T to the N
Otherwise known as Nanny P