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Gay Divorce - Where Would You Get Your Coat

As a buyer for a firm that deals in ladies' fur coats

I get sort of pessimistic now and then

'Cause so many women who invest in our coats

Spend so many evenings out with other men.

I wish they'd simply take a few notes

From the animals who make their coats.



For if dear little ermines in Siberia

On their dear little husbands didn't dote,

If the dear little 'possum

Didn't let their husbands boss 'em,

Tell me where would you get your coat?

If the dear little caraculs in Syria

All their time to their mates did not devote,

If the dear little sables

Ever told their husbands fables,

Tell me where would you get your coat?



If you modern wives led more domestic lives

And started singing "Home, Sweet Home"

There'd be no more divorce in Paris and

Of course there'd be no more annulments is Rome.

For if the dear little foxes had hysteria

When their mates fondly grabbed them by the throat,

If the dear little rabbits

Weren't so bourgeois in their habits,

Tell me where would you get your coat?



If the dear little lamb in Lithuania

Ever had a flirtation with a goat,

If home life didn't thrill a South American chinchilla,

Tell me where would you get your coat?



If the dear little skunk in Pennsylvania

Over her dear little husband didn't gloat,

If the dear little beaver

Were in birth control a believer,

Tell me where would you get your coat?



Now if each wife I see

Would only try to be

Content to make her husband's bed,

Cholly Knickerbocker might have nothing more to write

And Town Topics would cease to be read.

For if the dear little mink should get a mania

For som hell-raising gigolo of note,

If the dear little squirrel

Quit her mate

'Cause he was virile,

Tell me where would you get your coat?
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