Testi Soundtracks :: I

Woman 1

And the Lord God said, "Let there be light." And there was light.



Man 1

And the Lord God said, "Let there be man and woman."



Woman 2

And there was man and woman



Man 2

That night man asked woman if she was busy



Woman 2

And woman said, "Thank you, she'd have to check.



Woman 1

But she's interested in anything long term, she still wants to see other people.



Women 1/2

He he he he he he he he he he he he



Man 2

And man said, "There are no other people"



Man 1/2

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha



Woman 1

And woman said ok how about this,

We get married, you vow you're eternal love for me,

I expell a bunch of miniature humans

Who are totally depended on us for 18 years.



Woman 2

You get a job, you stay home weekends,

And you never see another women naked for the rest of your life.



Man 2

And man said



Man 1/2

Ah ah ah ah ah



Women 1

And then thousands



Man 1

And thousands



Women 2

And thousands



Man 2

And thousands of years past



Women 1

And as for man and women...



Man 1

First date, new romance, clean shirt, pressed pants,

Aftershave, deoderent, electric razor, veloments.



Man 2

Mouthwash, toothpaste, bring the condoms just in case,

Macho boy, slick the hair, modern man, debonair.



Man 1

I will splash on must.



Man 2

I will knot my tie.



Man 1/2

And before I go I will check my fly.

It is women who have turned me into this.

A quaff up and dry cleanded guy.



Women 1

Facial creme from a spa, lingerie, wonder bra,

Hairspray, hairspritz, wax the legs, shave the pits.



Women 2

Appitite, coy and pert, don't eat much,

No dessert, sweet and low, half and half, smile a lot, fake a laugh.



Women 1

I have primed and plucked



Women 2

I have rubbed on nair.



Women 1/2

I have spent two hours on my face and hair.

And I did all this for a guy I barely know, and I bet he won't even care.



Man 1

I'll behave real well. Show her just the good stuff only.



Man 2

I could weave a spell, if I lie about somethings.



Woman 1

I hope he's mature, unlike every guy I've dated.



Woman 2

Still I will endure, someone somewhere dreams of me.



Man 1

But I got baggage, emotioal baggage, a plane load of baggage,

That causes much saggage, everybody.



All

We've got baggage, emotional draggage,

And we've been logging around this baggage a long long time.



All (spoken)

Time!?! Shit!!!!!!!!



All

Will my hopes be met? Will my fear dispell?

Will I captivate? Or will I repel?

Will I show him/her just how wonderful I am?

Or will I be a date from hell?



All

First date, new romance, different partner, same dance,

Ready now, almost time, here we go, door bell chime.



All at same time:

Men: Women: (faster)

I'll behave real well Facial creme from a spa

Show her just the lingere wonder bra

good stuff only I hairspray hairspritz

could weave a spell wax the legs shave the

If I lied about some pits. Appatite coy and

things. pert, don't eat much no

dessert, sweet and low

half and half smile a

lot fake a laugh



All

Here I go once more, fishing for another lover,

One more waiting door, one more very long long shot.



Man 1

Will this be a waste?



Woman 1

Or will I strike gold?



Man 2

Will my life be chase?



Woman 2

God, I'm getting old.



(door bell rings)



All (spoken)

HI.