Testi Soundtracks :: I

(Wolf howl)



Man

So, how was I?



Woman

Oh, you were good



Man

You mean good or UNBELIEVABLE?



Woman

Oh, stop it! I can't take it anymore. You were terrible.

I didn't get any pleasure. Not only didn't the earth move, the bed

hardly rocked. Oh, I wish there were something I could do about it.



Announcer

Hello!

Did you ever wish you could sue someone because they didn't satisfy you sexually?

Well good news, now you can!

At Gechovian, Myers, Masters,

and Johnson we have a large staff of sexually experience attorneys

who wanna get into your bedroom

and get you the orgasm you deserve!

Let's take a look at a typical couple engaged in love making.



Woman

Lower. Higher. Lower. Higher. Ugh.



Man

Ow, ow! Watch your knees!



Woman

Ow!



Announcer

Not very appealing. And all too familiar.

Now let's take a look at the same couple with a Gechovian, Myers, Masters,

and Johnson attorney present!



Attorney

I'm sorry, Mr. Elliot, but your contract states you must be nibbling her neck.

And Ms. Courtland, his feet must be fondled.



Man and woman

Oh, right right right. Oh! Oh! Oh!



Announcer

(Laughs) See how easy it is when you let a no-nonsense litigator handle

the negotiations of lovemaking?

Your intial consultation is just $25 and your fee can be a portion

of your settlement should your partner fail to satisfy your fetishes.



Woman

I got $5,000 because he missed my G-spot!



Man

And I got $10,000 because she wouldn't go down on me!



Announcer

At Gechovian, Myers, Masters,

and Johnson if your partner doesn't get you off, we get you money!