Testi Soundtracks :: L

Elle:

There! Right There!

Look at that tan, that tinted skin.

Look at the killer shape he's in.

Look at that slightly stubly chin.

Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.



Calahan:

I'm not about to celebrate.

Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.

This guy's not gay, i say not gay.



All:

That is the elephant in the room.

Well is it relevant to assume

that a man who wears perfume

is automatically matically fay?



Emmett:

But look at his quoft and crispy locks.



Elle:

Look at his silk translucent socks.



Calahan:

There's the eternal paradox.

Look what we're seeing.



Elle:

What are we seeing?



Calahan:

Is he gay?



Elle:

Of course he's gay.



Calahan:

Or European?



All:

ohhhhhh.

Gay or European?

It's hard to guarantee

Is he gay or european?



Warner:

Well, hey don't look at me.



Vivian:

You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.

They play peculiar sports.



All:

In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.

Gay or foreign fella?

The answer could take weeks.

They will say things like "ciao bella"

while they kiss you on both cheeks.



Elle:

Oh please.



All:

Gay or European?

So many shades of gray.



Warner:

Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.



All:

Is he gay or European?

or



Eden:

There! Right There!

Look at that condescending smirk.

Seen it on every guy at work.

That is a metro-hetro jerk.

That guy's not gay, i say no way.



All:

That is the elephant in the room.

Well is it relevant to presume

that a hottie in that costume



Elle:

Is automatically-radically



Calahan:

ironically-cronically



Vivian:

scurtinly-curtainly



Warner:

genetically-netically



All:

GAY!

OFFICIALLY GAY!

OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY

DAMMIT



Gay or European?



Calahan:

So stylish and relaxed.



All:

Is he gay or European?



Calahan:

I think his chest is waxed.



Vivian:

But they bring their boys up different there.

It's culturally diverse.

It's not a fashion curse.



All:

If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.

Gay or just exotic?

I still can't crack the code.



Brooke:

Yet his accent is hypnotic

but his shoes are pointy toed.



All:

Huh.

Gay or European?

So many shades of gray.



Judge:

But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on saturday.



All:

Is he gay or European?

gay or european?

Gay or Euro-



Emmett:

Wait a minute!

Give me a chance to crack this guy.

I have an idea I'd like to try.



Calahan:

The floor is yours.



Emmett:

So Mr. Argitacos...

This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?



Ricos:

2 years.



Emmett:

And your first name again is...?



Nicos:

Nicos.



Emmett:

And your boyfriend's name is...?



Nicos:

Carlos.

I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.

I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.



Carlos:

You bastard!

You lying bastard!

That's it.

I no cover for you, no more!

Peoples.

I have a big announcement.

This man is Gay and European!

you've got to stop your being

a completely closet case.

No matter what he say.

I sware he never ever ever swing the other way.

You are so gay.

You big parfait!

You flaming boy in cabaret.



Nicos:

I'm straight!



Carlos:

You were not yesterday.

So if I may, I'm proud to say,

He's gay!



All:

And European!



Carlos:

He's gay!



All:

And European!



Carlos:

He's gay!



All:

And European and Gay!



Nicos:

Fine okay I'm gay!



All:

Hooray!



Nicos and Carlos:

Fine. Okay. We're gay!