Testi Soundtracks :: M

Vera and Mame:

[singing]

We'll always be bosom buddies,

Friends, sisters and pals;

We'll always be bosom buddies,

If life should reject you,

There's me to protect you.

Vera:

If I say that your tongue is vicious,

Mame:

If I call you uncouth;

Vera and Mame:

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will sit down and tell you the truth.

Vera:

[speaking]

Tho' now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting,

Mame:

Tho' often my frank observation might scald;

I've been meanin' to tell you for years

You should keep your hair natural like mine.

Vera:

If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald.

[singing]

But darling,

Vera and Mame:

We'll always be dear companions,

Vera:

My crony,

Mame:

My mate;

Vera and Mame:

We'll always be harmonizing,

Vera:

Orphan Annie and Sandy,

Vera and Mame:

Like Amos and Andy.

Vera:

If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth;

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth.

Mame:

[speaking]

Each time that a critic has written, "Your voice is the voice of a frog!"

Straight to your side to defend you I rush;

You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes and unkind

remark.

When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!"

[singing]

It hurts me!

Vera:

And if I say your fangs are showing,

Mame, pull in your claws,

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will notice the obvious flaws!

Mame:

[speaking]

I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age;

You try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth."

Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth!

Vera:

Well, how old do you think?

Mame:

I'd say somewhere in between forty and the death!

Vera and Mame:

[singing]

But sweetie,

Vera:

I'll always be Alice Toklas,

If you'll be Gertrude Stein.

And tho' I'll admit I've dished you,

I've gossiped and gloated,

But I'm so devoted.

Mame:

And if I say that sex and guts made you into a star,

It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy

Will tell you how rotten you are.

Vera and Mame:

Just turn your bosom buddy

For aid and affection,

For help and direction,

For loyalty, love and for sooth!

Remember that who else but a bosom buddy

Will sit down and level

And give you the devil,

Will sit down and tell you the truth!