"Uncle Chucky? Could you read us a bedtime story please, huh please? "
"Alright, you kids get to bed, I'll get the story book. You all tucked in? "
"Here we go... "
Slammed the Impala door, hopped out
'Whadda you see? '
Some niggas hangin' on the fence lookin' at me
I had fat red laces in my Adidas
Big chain around my neck like Mardi Gras
So I stepped up to 'em, 'Is there a problem here? '
One nigga lifts his shirt then he yells out 'Yeah'
So I turned around quickly and I jumped in my car
I was about to hit the switch then I thought, like 'nah'
So I reached under my seat, and I grabbed my shit
It was a chrome .45 with the Kung-Fu grip
Stuffed it inside my Dickies as I jumped out the car
Kept my hand on the trigger as I walked in the store
One nigga walks in, then here comes two
'What did you do? ', 'I shot', 'Are you crazy foo'? '
One nigga hit the ground and the other two scrammed
Now the cops are outside, well I'll be damned
It was 7:15, on my Rolex watch
And I can't do the time that my Rolex got
And like the hands on the clock
I went this way that a-way
Ran around the corner and that's when I threw my gat away
An impala passed, it's my homeboy Clyde
He gave me the hand signal so I jumped in his ride
It was a clean '64, original inside
With no key in the ignition, 'Where'd you get this Clyde? '
Never mind, I'm out it's a stolen whip
And I'm already runnin' from the cops and shit
So I hopped out the car like the Dukes of Hazzard
Then Clyde yells out 'You stupid bastard'
Start runnin' through traffic and I almost got hit
I lost one of my shoes, it's my Air Force shit!
I'm hobblin' down the street with one shoe on
Walk straight into some niggas with' all blue on
I only ran 30 blocks, how I end up in Long Beach?
Cause in California, the gangs in arm reach
He saw my red strains so he punched and caught me
Then I knocked his ass out and took his boy out his sparkly's
I ain't seen these since '92
I'm feelin' like a Bad Boy without the shiny suit
Here the cops come, shit! So I dashed behind the Honda
And look who's here, my baby momma's friend Rhonda
In the car kissin' on this dope dealer Cris
But little did he know he was suckin' my dick
I start bangin' on the window, 'I don't mean to disturb'
'But Cris can you drop me off Downtown on 3rd? '
He said 'Sure, waddup Game hop in'
He was bangin' Slick Rick then I got a idea
Before we get to 3rd drop me off right here
So I can walk inside the mall and cop some more gear
As I walked in the store they could see I was in a rush
So they bought me some jeans, a t-shirt and some fresh Chucks
Walked out the store and looked left, 'Oh no! '
Ran back in the store, here comes the 5-0
So I ran real quick, made a move to the back
Cold knocked this cute bitch into a polo rack
'Sorry', jumped over her and fled to the back door
Then I kicked the shit open, you won't believe who I saw
It's the nigga Cris in handcuffs pointin' at me
And the cops made chase before they let Cris free
One cop tried to grab me and the other one missed
I got away with more time and they both got pissed
Full speed out the mall, spotted this blue coupe
Dogg Pound on the plates, that gotta be Snoop
So I ran up to the car and I said 'Yo Snoop, the cops got me on the run'
'Need a ride nephew? '
'Hell yeah big Snoop'
'Lil homie hop in'
'Drop me off in Compton'
And that's where my story ends
Now this ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another story about the wrong path
Had a long day so I reclined my seat
It was a 20 minute ride to the CPT
Walked straight up to the house, pulled out my key
Opened the door, it's my girl playin' Biz Markie
Oh you, you got what I neeeeeeeeed