Testi Soundtracks :: B

BERTIE

It's an English tradition

We like to say hallo

We hope by shaking hands that we'll recall your name

We work on that basis, remembering faces

But that's about all

I know you're somebody something

It's on the tip of my tongue

You're either Edith Sitwell or the Bow Street Beak

I'll know who you are, the moment you speak ...

But meanwhile, just put in right there

How do you do?



BUDGE

How do you do?



GUSSIE

How do you do?



BERTIE

Hallo again...



BUDGE

How goes it all?



GUSSIE

Good day to you



BERTIE

You keeping fit?



BUDGE

So great to meet you



GUSSIE

It's been an age



BERTIE

A tiny world



BUDGE

How do you -



GUSSIE

How do you -



BERTIE

How do you -



BUDGE

How do you -



ALL

How do you do?



BUDGE

How's life with you?



GUSSIE

Good evening all



BERTIE

You're looking well



BUDGE

Well, hi there, stranger



GUSSIE

Surprise, surprise



BERTIE

What could be nicer, meeting like this?

I confess I've forgotten

Who on earth you can be

It could be you're Nijinsky or the man next door-



BUDGE

How do you -



GUSSIE

How do you -



BERTIE

How do you -



BUDGE

How do you -



ALL

How do you do?



GUSSIE

You're either Pablo Picasso



BUDGE

Or maybe Harpo Marx



BERTIE

You might be Sarah Bernhardt - no, you're Wittgenstein



GUSSIE

Whoever I am though, the pleasure's all mine



BUDGE

Let's take it and shake it right there



BERTIE

Well, fancy this



GUSSIE

It's surely not?



BUDGE

I can't believe



BERTIE

Good Lord alive!



GUSSIE

How long's it been?



BUDGE

You've hardly changed



BERTIE

You've lost some weight



GUSSIE

I can't believe it!



BUDGE

It's been a while



BERTIE

You're just the same



BUDGE

How do you -



GUSSIE

How do you -



BERTIE

How do you -



BUDGE

How do you -



ALL

How do you do?



GUSSIE

What brings you here?



BERTIE

How's life back home?



BUDGE

How's business been?



GUSSIE

And how's your father?



BERTIE

My sainted aunt!

What could be better, meeting like this?

Though I haven't an inkling

Not a clue who you are

You could be Amy Johnson



BUDGE

No, I'm Al Capone. How do you -



GUSSIE

How do you -



BERTIE

How do you -



BUDGE

How do you -



ALL

How do you do?



BUDGE

Aren't you Marlene Dietrich?



GUSSIE

I think I'm Bernard Shaw



BERTIE

It really doesn't matter who on earth you are

The truth of it all is our friendship's been far

Too long now to bother with names

It's just another episode

In the Wooster moral code

Let's extend the hand of greeting



ALL

Hallo there, whoever you are

How do you do