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Pirate (The) - Be A Clown

I'll remember forever,

When I was but three,

Mama, who was clever,

Remarking to me;

If, son, when you're grown up,

You want ev'rything nice,

I've got your future sewn up

If you take this advice:



Be a clown, be a clown,

All the world loves a clown.

Act a fool, play the calf,

And you'll always have the last laugh.

Wear the cap and the bells

And you'll rate with all the great swells

If you become a doctor, folks'll face you with dread,

If you become a dentist, they'll be glad when you're dead,

You'll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head,

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.



Be a clown, be a clown,

All the world loves a clown.

Be a crazy buffoon

And the demoiselles'll all swoon.

Dress in huge, baggy pants

And you'll ride the road to romance.

A butcher or a baker, ladies never embrace,

A barber for a beau would be a social disgrace,

They all'll come to call if you can fall on your face,

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.



Be a clown, be a clown,

All the world loves a clown.

Show 'em tricks, tell 'em jokes

And you'll only stop with top folks.

Be a crack jackanapes

And they'll imitate you like apes.

Why be a great composer with your rent in arrears,

Why be a major poet and you'll owe it for years?

When crowds'll pay to giggle if you wiggle your ears?

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.



Be a clown, be a clown,

All the world loves a clown.

If you just make 'em roar

Watch your mountebank account soar.

Wear a painted mustache

And you're sure to make a big splash.

A college education I should never propose,

A bachelor's degree won't even keep you in clo'es,

But millions you will win if you can spin on your nose.

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.



Be a clown, be a clown,

All the world loves a clown.

Be a poor silly ass

And you'll always travel first-class,

Give 'em quips, give 'em fun,

And they'll pay to say you're A-1.

If you become a farmer, you've the weather to buck,

If you become a gambler, you'll be stuck with your luck,

But jack you'll never lack if you can quack like a duck

(Quack, quack, quack, quack)

Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown.