Testi Soundtracks :: R

[The lot. JOANNE is reexamining the cable connections for the umpteenth time.]



[MARK]



And so into the abyss...The lot. Where a small stage is

partially set up.



[JOANNE]



[playing with some wires]

"Line in"...

I went to Harvard for this?



[MARK]



Close on Mark's nose dive.



[JOANNE]



"Line out"...



[MARK]



Will he get out of here alive...?



[JOANNE notices MARK approaching.]



[JOANNE]



Mark?



[MARK]



Hi.



[JOANNE]



I told her not to call you



[MARK]



That's Maureen

But can I help since I'm here



[JOANNE]



I hired an engineer ...



[MARK]



Great!

Well, nice to have met you



[JOANNE]



Wait!

She's three hours late

The samples won't delay

But the cable --



[MARK]



There's another way

Say something -- anything



[JOANNE (into the mike)]



Test -- one, two three --



[MARK]



Anything but that



[JOANNE]



This is weird



[MARK]



It's weird



[JOANNE]



Very weird



[MARK]



Fuckin' weird



[JOANNE]



I'm so mad

That I don't know what to do

Fighting with microphones

Freezing down to my bones

And to top it all off

I'm with you



[MARK]



Feel like going insane?

Got a fire in your brain?

And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?



[JOANNE]



As a matter of fact --



[MARK]



Honey, I know this act

It's called the 'Tango Maureen'

The Tango Maureen

It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round

As she keeps you dangling



[JOANNE]



You're wrong



[MARK]



Your heart she is mangling



[JOANNE]



It's different with me



[MARK]



And you toss and you turn

'Cause her cold eyes can burn

Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound



[JOANNE]



I think I know what you mean



[BOTH]



The Tango Maureen



[MARK]



Has she ever pouted her lips

And called you 'Pookie'



[JOANNE]



Never



[MARK]



Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?



[JOANNE]



This is spooky

Did you swoon when she walked through the door?



[MARK]



Every time -- so be cautious



[JOANNE]



Did she moon over other boys --?



[MARK]



More than moon --



[JOANNE]



I'm getting nauseous

[They begin to dance, with MARK leading.]



[MARK]



Where'd you learn to tango?



[JOANNE]



With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm

room at Miss Porter's. And you?



[MARK]



With Nanette Himmelfarb. The Rabbi's daughter at the

Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.



[They switch, and JOANNE leads.]



It's hard to do this backwards.



[JOANNE]



You should try it in heels!

She cheated



[MARK]



She cheated



[JOANNE]



Maureen cheated



[MARK]



Fuckin' cheated



[JOANNE]



I'm defeated

I should give up right now



[MARK]



Gotta look on the bright side

With all of your might



[JOANNE]



I'd fall for her still anyhow



[BOTH]



When you're dancing her dance

You don't stand a chance

Her grip of romance

Make you fall



[MARK]



So you think, 'Might as well'



[JOANNE]



"Dance a tango to hell"



[BOTH]



'At least I'll have tangoed at all'

The Tango Maureen

Gotta dance till your diva is through

You pretend to believe her

Cause in the end -- you can't leave her

But the end it will come

Still you have to play dumb

Till you're glum and you bum

And turn blue



[MARK]



Why do we love when she's mean?



[JOANNE]



And she can be so obscene



[MARK]



Try the mike



[JOANNE]



My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...)



[MARK]



Patched



[JOANNE]



Thanks



[MARK]



You know -- I feel great now!



[JOANNE]



I feel lousy

[The pay phone rings. MARK hands it to JOANNE.]

Honey, we're... [pause] Pookie?!

You never call me Pookie...

Forget it, we're patched.



[She hangs up, looks at MARK.]



[BOTH]



The Tango Maureen!